Pain. . .

It feels like i've ran out of time!
I feel that moment is my only portion of histoy's notion!
I feel that this table is just a mendacious space between my chignon and this sorrowful stranger hands
Tell me something. . .
What would someone who grants you the affection of a vivid flesh ask you to give but the perception of the feeling of being vivid? 

Taste in the boy. . .

The smell of cocoa butter devided from his skin has filled every corner of the apartment. A great 24hrs celebration beneath you'r stoned geeky style. Kisses that had been throwed focused on you'r eyes which never got the chance to touch you'r lips. Sunshine, Light on, wind, blow through my face, tears, don't run down into my mouth once more. but again  you couldn't make it! The grass is green, he love the greened fresh weed to smoke or maybe sometimes he enjoys it dark-brown or white as my frightened out eyes stared at the ceiling. Flied up away in the middle of the nowhere pretending like he's never been like a razorblade making my heart bleed. Running as a young lovely kittie, restless as a mother and mad like a cowboy who doesn't love cows. Sleep you'r eyelashes between my cold fingers, cry some tears on them and push them down there in my dry mouth. after you'r gone, though i know you'll be back to me soon or maybe not, I'll watch a movie, eat a coconut flavored ice cream and lie to you. you'r eyes are bloody red everynight and either will be mine as well but it's just for tonight or maybe not. Maybe i'll call you'r mother and tell her that you have commited suicide once and that how much i hate this خاک کثیف ...

A place in dirt !

"It started when he opened up his eyes this gloomy morning" it's just one of his bad days ! the taste of blood is sensible in his mouth with his frightened wild eyes staring at the ceiling begging to be abused . no sun in the sky , no appetite to eat ! he wears up his incomplete brain and runs out for a cigarette . something has changed last night when he was aching all over in his lonely room . a decision that had to be decided long ago was well clear to him . hmmmmm ... ! the hunger of flying and selling his last breath to this cruel world . The mother is sad ! she died in his dreams last night ... ! she died of cancer . he's walking on the alley of nauseatation having his older sister's high heels on for the first time . his every breath seems to be his last so he takes it even much deeper than when his heart got attached by the man he met while he was swiming in the ocean of his fantasies  . numbness in his face , no hope in his eyes ! the thought of his childhood hunts his happines and throws it to the garbage the same way his father did when he had his makeups on and you could see the beam of  mirth in his eyes . Today he's gonna rape everyone , his father will be the first one . he's even gonna rape himself with the help of the height ... ! One , two , three , three , three ... . getting close and closer to the dangerous summit of his mind . he's had the vanillashake and the meeting with his friends for the last time . Ten ! Right standing on the point of his slippery head Ready to fall him self down to his non exsisting smallest toe of his right foot and that's exactly when even the thought of death becomes worthless to his tearing eyes . AND THAT'S WHEN I PUKE ON THE CARPET !!

Don't cry for me (U.S.A)

Yes , you might think it strange the way i try to explain how i feel !

It's unbelievable , it's sad . All u will get the chance to see is a boy you've never known before although he's dressed up he's every single moment knowing how precious it feels like dressing like you'r blond haired female prostitute in that old bar on Fifth avenue .

But i had to make a change couldn't stay all my life down on my knees . Stayed out of sun lookin' outside the Window ! "So I chose freedom

Running around, trying everything new

But nothing impressed me at all

I never expected it to"

Don't cry for me NY All through my wild days and my mad existence ...         I kept my promise don't keep you'r distance !

The fame and fortune That's always been invited in seemd to the world They were all i desired ! But they were all Illusions not the solutions were expected . "The answer was always prisoned in my heart" I LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOU LOVE ME ................................

Don't cry for me sanctimonious land .

Was is too much ? Just look at me now and you'll see that every word is true ...

Blind Eyes In The Cafe' !

IT's Starting All Over Again But It's Like It's Annoying Me So Softly For The Very 1st Time ! It's Just Like I Drink From An Empty Glass Or Something As Hot as The First French Coffee I Had . It Burns Me But My Hands Are Freezing ! I Feel The Blood Pressure InSide My Heart But It Feels Like Winter's Cold Wind Blowing Into My Eyes ! It's Blind But It's True . Really Does Clothes Turn A Man Into a Real GentleMan Or a Queen Into a Miner ? Hih ! The Wooden Stairs To Run On , The Shame In The Boy's Wild Eyes . Or The Body HairS And The Nails Polish ! Is It Just What I Think ? Is It Just a Dream Or Is It The Fact I've Spent All My Life To feel ? Really , How Does IT feel Smoking In Cold Air While You Know SOMETHING Beats So Fast Up There When It Hears Something That's Been Expected All These Years While I Was Alone Crying In a Lonely Cold bed ! Maybe What I Need Is a Cold Cold Cold And Steamy Shower OR Something Rude And Gross To Make Me feel Safe While I'm Snoozing On Because I Hate It Soft 'n Smooth . No , It's a Fantasy Coming True Just Because I LOVE YOU !